6 whole days yessssssssssssss

I'm absolutely knackered and cannot write for toffee but I really really really wanted to tell you all that it has been SIX WHOLE DAYSwithout pulling! Ok, on the second day one eyelash came out, but I swore that would be the last and so far I am doing bloody amazing!
All thanks to the amazing idea of using a pull-free bracelet. For now, as you may have read, I'm using a broken charm bracelet that I only have 12 charms for but before I run out of charms I will find something, I swear I will!

Starting my first driving lessons tomorrow so SUPER nervous but so far, no matter how stressed I haven't pulled, so all is well! :)

Stay strong!
G xxxx

Pull-free bracelet

Ok, so this month I reaaaally wanted to start a pull-free bracelet like I mentioned in my last post, inspired by the amazing Aunie but...I live in a 1000 person village in the middle of Spain. So I've tried and tried to get the material for the bracelet but nada, I am assuming I'll have to look in the city where I go to college.
So meanwhile I have decided to use an old Pandora-imitation charm bracelet. I only have about 12-14 charms but its the only thing working for the time being (forget that, it doesn't even clasp properly so I have to leave it at home).
But the intention is there. And knowing that I want to fill that bracelet, to run out of charms, to make the people I've told about it proud of me and having real proof is really inspiring me to carry on.

Also, I've spruced up my blog! I would love if you read my "About me" page and I would really really love to hear about your stories of how your trich started. Remember, we are all in this together. The support really does make it easier!

G xxxx

PS: Thanks to my artist friend Nati for the drawing on my banner. She's promised me she'll do one of my eye for my birthday in August (she doesn't know about my trich) so I can't wait to have the most perfect lashes for the drawing! :)

Don't you ever give up

I'm starting to assimilate that my summer is about a month away. I'm also starting to assimilate that it's now or never. I've been absent the last couple of days because I've been at a rock festival (brilliant!) so that has sort of helped. On the first day I had a moment alone in my tent and had a terrible pull (20-30 lashes)  but since then I haven't pulled, so that is 5 days!

Also been wanted to publish a photo of me, because I don't have any and...so that I can start showing the world how I look without glasses. I felt shit at the festival because one of the first things I had to do was put my eyeliner on without even looking. My heart stopped at one point when I thought I'd lost it. I had to wear sunglasses when I was going anywhere and I hadn't had time to apply my makeup. I was terrified of anyone seeing me how I really am, without lashes. But being constantly surrounded has helped. And even though my finals are just around the corner,and I'm not gonna let it get to me.



PS: I have decided to start a pull-free bracelet so I can constantly see how I'm doing and make more of an effort! Now all I have to do is find the material for the bracelet haha :) Thanks to Annalise at Last Lash fot the idea, you're amazing :) I hope to keep you all more updated these days and remember, we can all do it. We're stronger than this.

G xxxx

Social pulling.

I can't believe it. I cannot believe it.
I have let stress get to me again. I'm currently in the library, as I have been for the last 5 godforsaken hours of my life finishing an incredibly annoying project on Yugoslavia and, without realizing it, after 5 hours in front of a screen I have pulled. Again, not much, but 5/6 lashes a day isn't a habit I want to keep.
And to top that, all my eye makeup has gone through the pulling. I just keep praying nobody I know sees me.

But I don't plan on giving up. They'll be bad days and good days, and it's gonna get better. I know it is.
G xxx

The beloved library that I am currently imprisoned in. Just to make the post a little cheerier.

Day 35: Nightmares -

Last night was horrible. Absolutely horrible.

After a full week (since I last wrote on here I think) I hadn't pulled once and my lashes were really sensing it! I even put on mascara to tell the difference properly and I assure you, you could tell. Long story short, I got all excited and then started pulling the mascara off...and them some lashes. It was only 5/6 (I always count) and it was only my right eye, so my left is fine (even though I hate them not being balanced) but it annoys me that I gave in. But that isn't the worst bit.

Last night I had my first nightmare about trich. I needed to tell someone about it so I'll try and context this. I'm british, for those who didn't know, but have grown up in Spain. In my nightmare, my bestfriend from my childhood was coming to visit me (as she is planning to do this summer in real life) and I hadn't planned for her arriving. Wanting to look in the best shape for this person I hadn't seen in years, I went to put on my eyeliner to cover up my trich and I couldn't find it. It's stupid and trivial, I know, but in the dream I was scared, I was bloody scared. The dream ended with me finding a broken and blunt eyeliner pencil and using that on my eyes even though it was so damaged it hurt me; all I wanted to do was cover up my lack of lashes. I could see myself looking in the mirror at the bald patch of eyelid that I had created before falling asleep that night in real life. I was suffering.

I know it was only a dream but I was really scared. Something trivial, like not being able to find my eyeliner in the morning would imply me either a) Not going to college at all that day. Or b) waiting for the shops to open to buy the first eyeliner I saw, applying it and then scurrying to class. 

I couldn't go to class without eyeliner. I'd love to, it's my dream, but I can't. Being pale and freckly and having no lashes makes me look like some kind of albino-mishap-freakshow. (Actually, I'm sure its not that bad but I hate it).

I have been wearing eyeliner since the age of 14 to cover up my trich. And since then I haven't been able to stop. But I will, I swear to God I will.

G xxxx

PS: No lashes were harmed during the writing of this post.

Day 28

OH MY GOD. I cannot believe it has been 28 days since I started this blog!
Anyway, wanted to start off apologising for not publishing much lately...I had been studying intensely for my written driving test, which....*cue drum roll* I passed!

These past 2 weeks have been pretty good. I've only had two incidents (Sunday, the night before the driving test) and this midday..But I'm still the proud owner of a few pretty brill lashes!
It's getting better and better really..I'm learning to find the beautiful things in life and to stop stressing about the petty things.. Life is what you make it and I plan to make it GOOD.
Pulling isn't going to make my problems solve themself faster, it just creates another problem.

My summer oficially starts on June 5th, which is...A MONTH AND A HALF AWAY! So, if I believe the magical world of the internet..for my lashes to fully recover I need 4-6 weeks, so just enough time!
And if I can do it, anyone can :)

Good luck and lots of love readers!
G xxxx

Day 14

After almost a week and a half of not-pulling and some brilliant looking eyelashes appearing... I messed up!
Last night I was so tired and preocupied that I pulled out..probably 10-15 lashes! :( My eyes are almost bald again, so much for all that effort I put in..

Today is a new day though so today I'll try with all my strength to not give in to the urge!
G xx